Adding raindrops to the sea

Even the sea accepts raindrops. (Ghana)

Dear Zayda,

You are free to express yourself freely and then some more. People in Jamaica will call you “nuff” [too much to handle] and perhaps even “boasy” [boastful]. Others may even think of you as an “uppity” with the N-word added to it.

President Barack Obama gets labeled “uppity” because, as a Black man, he dared to think big. He dared to dream of being president of the most powerful country in the world, even though he was a Black man raised by a single mother. To get to be president means usually that you have to be rich, and Obama didn’t have the wealth of George Bush, for example. Definitely not the wealth of a John F. Kennedy. So Obama became inventive about fund raising. He built a community of funders among regular people who could send him ten or twenty dollars at a time. He thought big, and then some more. He could well have thought that being a candidate for the presidency was enough. He could have thought that winning the primaries was enough. But no, he believed in himself enough to think he and his family deserved to live in the White House.

Some of us think that he may be limiting himself these days. Sometimes he may seem like a turtle that wants to play it safe and not stick out its neck too far. He may need to realize that we are always on a journey, so we can’t just sit back and decide we have arrived and all is well. Just as there is always room for raindrops in the sea, so there is always room for another leaf on the tree.

Muhammad Ali was always over the top. His sea always had room for more raindrops. He knew he was the greatest boxer in the world, even before he won any titles. By seeing himself as the best, he won his fights even before he got into the boxing ring. He would predict exactly which round he would knock out an opponent, and he was usually right. He believed in himself more than anyone could possibly believe in him. People criticized him for chatting so much, and some called him “the Louisville Lip” as he came from Louisville, Kentucky. He silenced the critics by proving the truth of what he was saying. Ali became a boxing legend for boxing with brains as well as fists. He had 56 wins and only 5 losses in his career.

Ali did not believe in war, and so he refused to be in the United States army fighting the Vietnamese in their own country. He said, "No, I am not going 10,000 miles to help murder kill and burn other people to simply help continue the domination of white slavemasters over dark people the world over. This is the day and age when such evil injustice must come to an end."

He knew he could damage his boxing career by standing up for his beliefs, but he would not allow money and fame to limit him. He had challenged the sports system with his confidence as a boxing, and he challenged political system with his confidence as a Black man.

Ali identified with militants in the Black struggle for civil rights. He joined the Nation of Islam, even though he knew his views on race and religion could lose him support from boxing fans and therefore his career.

My grandniece, you can never be too much of yourself. There is always more to do and more to discover. People at the top are bound to slide down if they just sit there. If we stop dreaming (and dreaming big!) we stop living (when we could be living big!).

So live, Zayda, live fully and then some more!!


Blessings,

Your shangazi Nothango (Yvonne)

Sea and waves: accepting uncertainty

There is no sea without waves. (Swahili)

Dear Zayda,

One of the biggest favors your elders can do for you is to show you that life will have ups and downs.

Many societies promote a lie that there can be a sea without waves. Parents may believe that if they do more or less of this or that, their children will have an easier life. As we become adults, many of us believe that we can reach smooth seas if we get a college degree, become a top executive, and earn millions a year. We feel certain we will be happy if we are rich enough, slim enough, good-looking enough, and lucky enough to marry the person of our dreams.

Advertisements are usually based on the myth of the sea without waves. We are told we will have the body, the job, the home, or the spouse that will provide us with a life of smooth seas. All we need to do is to use this deodorant, drink this beverage, or buy this face cream. We may then believe we are to blame when the waves keep coming despite all do and all we buy. So we do more, and buy more, and wonder why we still cannot be happier.

If we flow with life's lessons, we learn that the sea is what it is. Sometimes it is smooth and wonderful for paddling. Sometimes the sea is angry as in a hurricane or destructive as in a tsunami.

We may choose to stay in a protected harbor and try to enjoy smooth seas all the time. However, we may become bored and even envious of others when we see them become stronger after facing rough seas.

The challenges you face as a baby will help you learn to trust yourself. You will spend many months crawling, standing, and falling down. Even when you think your legs are strong, you will still fall sometimes. If your parents tried to protect you from bruises, you would probably never be able to be a runner like your dad.

When the seas are very rough, we may decide to remain on shore for a while. We need to judge when the sea is safe for us so we do not take unnecessary risks. We may also develop surfing talent, so we have reason to welcome the high waves when they come. Sailors have discovered amazing skills when they are caught in hurricanes that create waves as high as mountains. Those who live near the sea know that waves can be their friends and their teachers, as well as their means of surviving. The uncertainly of waves can build confidence that we have the ability to handle the unknown. We may even trust ourselves create waves!

So, my grandniece, whatever you do, please leave the shore if you want to grow. Paddle, swim, surf, and sail through life, learning and growing with each new wave.

Blessings,

Your shangazi Nothango (Yvonne)